Back Crackin'

 

"The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." - Voltaire

 

Today was another memorable first for Gina, in a year of so many memorable firsts.  Today she had her first chiropractic adjustment.

 

Having been in and out of chiropractic care for some 20 years now I'm sure this will be good for her in the long run.  We all have little aches and pains, and some big aches and pains, to show for the wear and tear of life.  In Gina's case it may be that her adventure on the giant slide at the Iowa State Fair was a little too exciting.

 

She did really well with it.  A few soft "ows" and only one poignant "ouch".  Not too bad, a real trooper!

 

Of course watching her 'enjoy' her new experience got me to thinking, which of our animal friends would most benefit from the manipulations of the chiropractor.

 

The snake was a rather obvious choice.  He's really just one very long spine with a couple of sharp teeth and a talented tongue.  Slithering around through the grass and across the sharp rocks all day, surely he would be in need of an adjustment. 

 

Then again, in many spiritual traditions the snake is literally the very symbol of healing as well as the symbol of eternity.  Shedding his skin as the cycles of his life pass by, continually renewing himself, it is an honor well appointed.

 

Another likely candidate for chiropractic care is the giraffe.  With his long supple neck surely he knows what a pain in the neck is all about!   

 

Adult male giraffes will use their long necks in battles for dominance known as necking.  These contests can vary in intensity from little more than pushing each other to huge swings of the necks that can (rarely) end in death.  The winner of the contest will have greater success in his attempts to breed, although will first use his dominance to mount the loser.  

 

The ostrich is another likely candidate for cervical care with their long fluid neck.  

But unlike the giraffe this odd looking bird doesn't use it's neck as a weapon.  Instead the ostrich has an extremely powerful kick, and they have been known to kill lions in the wild by crushing the cat's windpipe.





















Maybe the apes, especially the great apes, are prone to the ills that plague mankind's lower back.  They are of a very similar build, and carry a great deal of weight on their ample frame. 

Yet I can't imagine any of them holding an ice pack to a sore neck, or complaining "Oh, my aching back!"  And would a massive silver back ever proclaim, "Must be rain a comin'. My knees are acting up."

Would any of the fauna that inhabit our world with us benefit from a well placed vertebral manipulation?  Would they be relieved of that so very annoying cracking, popping, and creaking that emanates from my worn out neck? 

Probably not.  Many of the aches and pains that we humans suffer from are largely self inflicted, and more often than not the result of our use of technology. 

Eye strain, neck and back pain, carpal tunnel syndrome are just a few of the maladies that result from the use of computers. 

Stores are full of back cushions, neck cushions, heated cushions, and vibrating cushions that all offer dubious promises of relief.  We spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars on "ergonomic" furniture that promises to ease our suffering while we work or play at our desktop, laptop, tablet, or smart phone.  And every year a new crop of snake oil gadgets hits the market.

In the end I must conclude that, barring the occasional accidental injury, it is only the human species that really needs the services of the chiropractor.

At least, until gorillas start using "Apebook".